I Had an Aha! Moment This Morning

I am sitting at my desk working on an assignment for Microsoft, when I had this Aha! moment.

The job I am doing is very complex. There is a pile of 40 some candidates for outstanding achievement awards. These are a lot of very important people. The job is mind-boggling because the write-ups are so god awful in most cases. Some are rather like trying to read a plate of spaghetti.

My job is to bring order out of chaos, discover what needs to be said that isn't in the documents before me, and then to contact the people involved, get the information, and complete the write-ups. And I have a bit less than two weeks to do it in.

Please understand that for this assignment, Microsoft came looking for me not the other way around. I'm a consultant. This was based on the smallest possible job I did for them sometime last year. I wrote up the proceedings for an off-site series of meetings they held. Someone there was so impressed that when this latest bunch of stuff came up, she asked for me by name, even asking my agency that if I were on assignment that I perhaps could work for them too on weekends and after hours. That was very flattering.

Deciding to take the job was one of my smarter decisions. Now to the aha! moment. I was busy firing off emails all over the globe to the director of this, and VP of that, then sending a suggestion to the manager I'm reporting to telling her of changes that need to be made in the process and volunteering (for money of course) to actually give some form to their current chaotic process (herding cats comes to mind) and write up a guideline to enable people to do a better job up front. That's when it hit me. In the past I have always been sort of overwhelmed by such important people and having to deal with them. I mean, some of these folks have world-wide reputations.

The aha? Well, I'm not only not overwhelmed by them any more, I don't feel at all inferior to them either. While I haven't accomplished the heady levels of technical and managerial they have, in my own way and in my own field I am just as good and just as accomplished. It's done wonders for my ego.

I think this happened in part because I am being treated as an expert and my opinions and suggestions are being respected with this group. They act as if I walk on water. I am referring to the local Microsoft group for which I am working, not the broader company or all of these technical geniuses with whom I am dealing. I honestly needed this. It's done an enormous amount for my self-esteem. It doesn't hurt that I get to work at home, set my own hours, etc. It also doesn't hurt to be told that people are so impressed by me and my work that they are asking my manager for a place in the queue for my services as each project is finished.

On some level I know my own expertise and worth. But on another I needed to hear it from someone other than the little voice inside my head. This next couple of weeks are going to be brutal. There is nowhere near enough time before the deadline. I'll meet it of course. I've already let management know I will be going into overtime and weekends. I have strategies for doing research until the answers to my emails begins coming in, and there are a very few of the nomination write-ups that are actually good enough and which contain sufficient information for me to begin the final drafts of those.

In the end I will do it. But I'll also turn around and refine their process so that next year whoever does this will not have nearly the hard time I am. In their defense, I should add that this program only started last year, so the guidelines have not really been set. They will be next year because I will set them. I feel very good about me this morning.