I Am Bored

If I were any more bored I would be in a coma. It seems all I do these days is clean house, work, run errands, and putter. I cannot think of a single thing except playing WoW from time to time that doesn't bore me nearly to tears.

Most of this, I admit is my own fault. I've drawn more and more away from people and the world as I have gotten older. I'm simply no longer willing to put forth the effort it takes to find, make, and sustain friendships. Then one day I woke up and discovered I am a total hermit. What is even worse is that I have little if any real incentive to want to change that even if I had the slightest idea of how to do that at my age.

I'm very self-conscious when I am out in public. Not, as you might think, because of my weight. I made peace with that years ago and figure anyone who judges another by the breadth of their ass rather than by the depth of their soul isn't worth the powder to blow them to hell anyway. I am self conscious mainly about my teeth. I have nice dentures on the top, but on the bottom we got half way and I lost my job/insurance so I never could afford to have them finished. As a result when I smile I look like a jack-o-lantern on crack. So I rarely smile.

It's just easier and more comfortable (and lots more boring) to just stay home and fill my life with chores and projects. But I do admit that sometimes I really miss having someone to talk to. Year before last in the summer I went to Hawaii for a week and met some of my brothers friends. We talked politics and other things for literally hours. It was like being drunk but without the booze. I looked forward to every single day and couldn't wait to get up in the morning. I had a big grin on my face (at home of course) for two days recently when one of those guys sent a wave and a hi through my sister. It was so great to even be remembered.

Tonight, however, I am just bored. My daughter has been sick for days and is just now beginning to get better. She and her friend and husband are in the other room watching American Idol. Personally I would rather watch paint dry, so I am here writing this, then will do one of my Spanish lessons and read a bit in my new book "An Incomplete Education." It's a rather interesting big book of odd facts and information across a spectrum of subjects.

After another hour or two I will go to bed and thus ends another boring day. With more to follow. Thank heavens all of the errands were completed today. I don't have to go anywhere or do anything outside tomorrow. Yay!