Today has been in interesting day for me in a number of ways. I've been so involved in the thought processes involved in trying to list all the things I know about, would like to know about and that I could teach, write articles about, etc. that the day has more or less just slipped away. Everyone should do such an inventory. It's quite an ego boost.
I had a meeting with the second of the headhunters today. I realized that I should be enormously flattered. These are not job recruiters. They are guys charged with digging up resumes of highly qualified people for top jobs and then making a pitch to an employer regarding them. These are top folks and working only with top people. My thing is that I'm one of them for whatever reason. The job they're pitching me for is one I could do a very good job at. It would allow me to retire in a few years on top....at least by my definition of what "on top" means. The pay is a lot more than I have thus far ever made in my life, but the responsibilities would require me to use all my accumulated experience and skills in one place.
Depending on the people involved at the company, it could potentially be a dream job. Tonight, however, I'm just basking in the notion that an honest-to-god head hunter thought I was good enough to approach. Wow.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Lobbying Reform
Well, the Senate passed its version of lobbying reform today, and to nobody's surprise it contains a a lot of empty words and no real reforms. There are enormous amounts of lip service paid to curbing the power of lobbyists, however the bill contains absolutely no actual curbs to their actions or their ability to buy and sell Representatives and Senators at will.
Missing from the final bill are a ban on accepting meals, gifts, and expensive trips. There is no new oversight, and few if any real disclosure requirements. There is no restriction or increase in the amount of time a Senator or Representative have to be out of office before accepting a lobbying job, and no restriction of their presence in the usual congressional haunts reserved for active and retired members of congress. In other words, it's corruption as usual. Kind of like trying to put a silk dress on a pig. Under it all, it's still a pig.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised. Real lobbying reform requires the sort of backbone, courage, and commitment to honesty that few if any members of congress possess, even in the halcyon days of their newly elected first trip to the hill. The message sent by this dismal failure to act is clear. Corruption is alive and well and flourishing on Capitol Hill.
If you look back over the past few years, the climate of corruption in Congress has followed the path of that in big business. Given a one-dimensional, kiss-ass group on the hill pandering to their every wish, the wealthy corporations and their congressional property (both Senators and Representatives) have abandoned even the pretext of honesty. Now they parade their corruption as a badge of honor as they pay lip service to reform they have already been bought and paid to avoid actually doing.
Missing from the final bill are a ban on accepting meals, gifts, and expensive trips. There is no new oversight, and few if any real disclosure requirements. There is no restriction or increase in the amount of time a Senator or Representative have to be out of office before accepting a lobbying job, and no restriction of their presence in the usual congressional haunts reserved for active and retired members of congress. In other words, it's corruption as usual. Kind of like trying to put a silk dress on a pig. Under it all, it's still a pig.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised. Real lobbying reform requires the sort of backbone, courage, and commitment to honesty that few if any members of congress possess, even in the halcyon days of their newly elected first trip to the hill. The message sent by this dismal failure to act is clear. Corruption is alive and well and flourishing on Capitol Hill.
If you look back over the past few years, the climate of corruption in Congress has followed the path of that in big business. Given a one-dimensional, kiss-ass group on the hill pandering to their every wish, the wealthy corporations and their congressional property (both Senators and Representatives) have abandoned even the pretext of honesty. Now they parade their corruption as a badge of honor as they pay lip service to reform they have already been bought and paid to avoid actually doing.
Monday, March 27, 2006
The Current Illegal Immigrant Flap
I must admit I'm somewhat bewildered by this whole flap over illegal immigration. What part of illegal are people having such a problem with? These people have come here in defiance of our laws, and employers are hiring them in defiance of those same laws.
The main argument I hear is that they do jobs Americans are unwilling to do. The last time I heard that has nothing to do with being here illegally. It's a matter of economics. Legal immigrants with low skills are also willing to work at lower wages than other Americans as well. I want to see a number of changes made and have made this wishes known to my congress people and Senators.
First off the entire body of Immigration law needs to be reviewed and streamlined. Preferably automated as much as possible to cut down on the unconscionable waiting times now associated with legally immigrating to this country. The lottery system needs to be abandoned in favor of realistic quotas from various countries, and needs to include a favorable weighting toward those who are educated, have necessary skills or ways to earn their own living once they are here, and who speak and read English. It's also critical that we remove once and for all the provision in our law that makes a person born in this country to illegal parents a citizen. Unless one of the parents is a U.S. citizen, then a child should not be one either.
Next, our borders need to be beefed up so that it's unlikely that so many can simply walk across with such impunity. This should include more officers to patrol, and include the Army and the National Guard if necessary. We need more holding areas for those rounded up. Let these be camps on the desert similar to those now used for felons in Arizona. Simple, humane, but with absolutely no amenities. They need to be clean, provide food, water, and a tent to sleep in, and have adequate sanitary facilities. Beyond that absolutely nothing. No electricity, no televisions, cell phones, or video games. These are prisons, not daycare facilities.
We need new laws to come down heavily on anyone who hires an illegal for any reason whatever, and this should include a sliding scale of fines (more hirings, more and steeper fines), and jail time, starting with a week for hiring one illegal, and going up for each successive law violation. Coupled with this needs to be a way of identifying legal people. A simple electronic fingerprint, retinal scan, or other means of positive identification needs to be put into effect. This database needs to be fast and accurate. If the person is not in the database, then you cannot hire them. Period. Employers would also be required to prove, if asked, that they advertised in English language newspapers, and other English language employment areas and received no American applications for this type of work.
If we get a guest worker program, it needs several features to work successfully. First of all, each worker must be able to apply to it only from their home country. Next, there needs to be some means of identifying how many workers are needed in which parts of the country, and guest worker permits issued only for that number and for the individual worker. From there, the worker is fingerprinted, a criminal background check performed (can be done in advance), a DNA sample taken, and the person photographed. This would result in them being issued a legal entry document so they could legally cross the border and their entry would be part of a database when they come and when they leave.
Each guest worker would be required by law to register their current address and other contact information monthly. Preference in all jobs would be given to those who speak English over those who do not. Any violation of American law more serious than a traffic offense would result in permanent revocation of the work permit and deportation. They would pay all taxes and other deductions required of all workers in the U.S. and would be eligible for Social Security benefits based on their earnings if they qualified otherwise.
They would not be eligible for food stamps, public education, welfare, medicaid, or any other social benefit that is authorized by the voters for citizens and legal immigrants. Medical attention of any sort would be restricted to true, life-threatening emergencies. Those in need of more extensive care would be given a ticket home where they could get the attention they need.
To be entirely fair, after 8-10 years working here and no criminal activity, the worker would be eligible to return to their own country and apply for permanent residence, with a preference being assigned because of their service in the guest program.
The main argument I hear is that they do jobs Americans are unwilling to do. The last time I heard that has nothing to do with being here illegally. It's a matter of economics. Legal immigrants with low skills are also willing to work at lower wages than other Americans as well. I want to see a number of changes made and have made this wishes known to my congress people and Senators.
First off the entire body of Immigration law needs to be reviewed and streamlined. Preferably automated as much as possible to cut down on the unconscionable waiting times now associated with legally immigrating to this country. The lottery system needs to be abandoned in favor of realistic quotas from various countries, and needs to include a favorable weighting toward those who are educated, have necessary skills or ways to earn their own living once they are here, and who speak and read English. It's also critical that we remove once and for all the provision in our law that makes a person born in this country to illegal parents a citizen. Unless one of the parents is a U.S. citizen, then a child should not be one either.
Next, our borders need to be beefed up so that it's unlikely that so many can simply walk across with such impunity. This should include more officers to patrol, and include the Army and the National Guard if necessary. We need more holding areas for those rounded up. Let these be camps on the desert similar to those now used for felons in Arizona. Simple, humane, but with absolutely no amenities. They need to be clean, provide food, water, and a tent to sleep in, and have adequate sanitary facilities. Beyond that absolutely nothing. No electricity, no televisions, cell phones, or video games. These are prisons, not daycare facilities.
We need new laws to come down heavily on anyone who hires an illegal for any reason whatever, and this should include a sliding scale of fines (more hirings, more and steeper fines), and jail time, starting with a week for hiring one illegal, and going up for each successive law violation. Coupled with this needs to be a way of identifying legal people. A simple electronic fingerprint, retinal scan, or other means of positive identification needs to be put into effect. This database needs to be fast and accurate. If the person is not in the database, then you cannot hire them. Period. Employers would also be required to prove, if asked, that they advertised in English language newspapers, and other English language employment areas and received no American applications for this type of work.
If we get a guest worker program, it needs several features to work successfully. First of all, each worker must be able to apply to it only from their home country. Next, there needs to be some means of identifying how many workers are needed in which parts of the country, and guest worker permits issued only for that number and for the individual worker. From there, the worker is fingerprinted, a criminal background check performed (can be done in advance), a DNA sample taken, and the person photographed. This would result in them being issued a legal entry document so they could legally cross the border and their entry would be part of a database when they come and when they leave.
Each guest worker would be required by law to register their current address and other contact information monthly. Preference in all jobs would be given to those who speak English over those who do not. Any violation of American law more serious than a traffic offense would result in permanent revocation of the work permit and deportation. They would pay all taxes and other deductions required of all workers in the U.S. and would be eligible for Social Security benefits based on their earnings if they qualified otherwise.
They would not be eligible for food stamps, public education, welfare, medicaid, or any other social benefit that is authorized by the voters for citizens and legal immigrants. Medical attention of any sort would be restricted to true, life-threatening emergencies. Those in need of more extensive care would be given a ticket home where they could get the attention they need.
To be entirely fair, after 8-10 years working here and no criminal activity, the worker would be eligible to return to their own country and apply for permanent residence, with a preference being assigned because of their service in the guest program.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Time
Time is a funny thing. For me it's getting to be a problem. I don't seem to have the time and energy to do all the things I need to get done in a day. I want to do so much that I seem to get mired down and as a result, while some things inevitably get done, it's never enough. I need a way to get organized and get things moving forward.
Part of my problem is that I'm scattered by nature unless it's work-related. I have a short attention span, and always have many projects, even many books, going all at the same time. By jumping from one thing to the next I sometimes get things finished eventually. I was thinking about this today. I realize that part of my problem is sheer exhaustion from years of chronic insomnia. But to me that somehow seems like a partial cop-out.
The solution eludes me. I know it's not trying to concentrate exclusively on one thing until it's finished. I'd never do it. But I need some incentive/motivation to make things happen.
So what are these things? Well, first and foremost is getting a job. I am working hard on this but getting nowhere fast. Interviews but no job. Given my field, my age is against me, so that is the second thing. I need to figure out ways of expanding a really good pool of skills and knowledge into more directions. The pay doesn't have to be so good at this point as I retire in a year and a half anyway. Just about enough time to get a filler in place and producing cash by the time I'm out of the conventional workforce for good.
The next is writing. I need to get a handle on finishing my book. I'm trying something new, so we'll see if it works and gives me the tools to actually finish. Writing in general comes into this. Can I find enough things at which I'm relatively expert so that I can make money from it? I know a lot about a lot of things. I need to figure out how to capitalize on that.
I need time for personal stuff, like my crafts, pleasure and information and professional reading, this blog, and getting CLUEs to work. This is a lot of to-do stuff. A lot more want to do stuff. I'm not sure where to go. I'm doing some heavy reading on freelancing, and also exploring web portal sites thinking to branch out to teaching in online Universities, and other such areas where my considerable talents would be put to good use.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm spinning my wheels and making no real progress. I really need a job. I have an interview next week for what would be a dream way to go out of the workforce in style in 2-3 years. I'd get to go at the top of my game. Wish I had any faith that something good will pan out. It's been almost three months since I've had a job. I really need to get back into it and be productive again.
Notice I've not even mentioned the notion of having a personal life or actually doing things just for the fun of doing them. Other than playing an online game, I have no personal life. I seldom go anywhere and don't have a single friend in this area any more. I don't even have any interest in actually changing that. I guess being self-sufficient does have its up side.
Part of my problem is that I'm scattered by nature unless it's work-related. I have a short attention span, and always have many projects, even many books, going all at the same time. By jumping from one thing to the next I sometimes get things finished eventually. I was thinking about this today. I realize that part of my problem is sheer exhaustion from years of chronic insomnia. But to me that somehow seems like a partial cop-out.
The solution eludes me. I know it's not trying to concentrate exclusively on one thing until it's finished. I'd never do it. But I need some incentive/motivation to make things happen.
So what are these things? Well, first and foremost is getting a job. I am working hard on this but getting nowhere fast. Interviews but no job. Given my field, my age is against me, so that is the second thing. I need to figure out ways of expanding a really good pool of skills and knowledge into more directions. The pay doesn't have to be so good at this point as I retire in a year and a half anyway. Just about enough time to get a filler in place and producing cash by the time I'm out of the conventional workforce for good.
The next is writing. I need to get a handle on finishing my book. I'm trying something new, so we'll see if it works and gives me the tools to actually finish. Writing in general comes into this. Can I find enough things at which I'm relatively expert so that I can make money from it? I know a lot about a lot of things. I need to figure out how to capitalize on that.
I need time for personal stuff, like my crafts, pleasure and information and professional reading, this blog, and getting CLUEs to work. This is a lot of to-do stuff. A lot more want to do stuff. I'm not sure where to go. I'm doing some heavy reading on freelancing, and also exploring web portal sites thinking to branch out to teaching in online Universities, and other such areas where my considerable talents would be put to good use.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm spinning my wheels and making no real progress. I really need a job. I have an interview next week for what would be a dream way to go out of the workforce in style in 2-3 years. I'd get to go at the top of my game. Wish I had any faith that something good will pan out. It's been almost three months since I've had a job. I really need to get back into it and be productive again.
Notice I've not even mentioned the notion of having a personal life or actually doing things just for the fun of doing them. Other than playing an online game, I have no personal life. I seldom go anywhere and don't have a single friend in this area any more. I don't even have any interest in actually changing that. I guess being self-sufficient does have its up side.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Dreams
Something a friend of mine said the other day got me thinking about dreams. I guess we all have dreams. Some of us have lots of them, and some have a few. Some change their dreams every few years and others hold onto their dreams for a lifetime. I've been thinking that maybe we can measure the effectiveness of our lives by the degree to which we have managed to fulfill our dreams. I've only had three real dreams in my life. I achieved one, one is dead, and one still may happen one of these days, though at my age the possibility grows more remote by the day.
The dream I achieved was to get a college education. I wanted that from my earliest days in junior high school. But even then I knew that the possiblity was out of reach. And so it proved to be for a while. I went into the work force as a secretary, got married, and had a couple of kids. Every year or so I'd get my hands on some college catalogues and would spend a couple of days happily planning all the wonderful classes I would take. After my ex retired from the Army he decided to go to college. He got his AA and then we decided to move to Pullman, WA for him to pursue a degree in Anthropology. A dream of his.
It wasn't a good year. We were scheduled to move in January and that December my father died. But we still moved. The following December my mother died. In between though I learned I could go to college using grants and loans because we didn't have much in the way of money. Just his retirement and his GI bill. Despite all of the trouble with family and the ultimate breakup of my marriage I successfully completed a degree in Journalism and a masters in Educational statistics over six years. I loved school. I'm proud to this day of having done this and it's meant a lot to my life. I wouldn't have ever been as successful as I became without my education.
My dead dream is to know what love feels like. Yeah, I persuaded myself I was in love with my ex, but when push came to shove, I found myself incapable of absorbing the amount of abuse he wished to dish out, and I walked. That's not love. After our breakup (we were married for 17 years) I was convinced that with all I had suffered, I would find a wonderful man, marry again, and live happily ever after. Yeah I know...I was stupid. Happily ever after only happens in fairy tales.
I almost killed myself wanting this so badly. It colored everything I ever did, thought, or wanted. I literally reached the point where my despair was so painful and so deep I contemplated suicide. Were it not for my children, I probably would have done it. I couldn't figure out what was so wrong with me. My friends cared about me too much too tell me, and I couldn't figure it out by myself. I saw women with much less to offer than I did with others. Finally I was faced with the most difficult decision of my life. I could ruthlessly and finally stamp out hope of finding love in my life once and for all, or I could wallow in abject misery for the rest of my days. I chose to get rid of the hope. That's not as easy as it might sound. Hope in an insidious little bugger. It hides in the damnest places and sneaks out at the damnest times.
I am proud to say I've been hope free for nearly ten years now. Am I happy? Well, no. But I'm not wallowing in freakish misery as I used to be either. I live in a sort of emotional numb spot. I rarely get angry, I even more rarely feel really sad and cry. It's a nice even sort of emotional place to be. It allows me to work and do other things, engage in hobbies, and to live my life rather than indulging in useless and painful introversion trying to find and fix whatever it is that make me nonexistent to members of the opposite sex. I've freely chosen this place, so I can't say as I have any room to complain.
My unfulfilled dream is to be a real writer. Well, I am a writer, sort of. I'm a technical writer. A damned good one at that. But my dream isn't technical writing, though it pays the bills and then some. My dream is to write books. I've written two screenplays and actually had someone want to buy one of them. That's another story for another day. I once was asked to develop an idea for a television series, and I got all the way to a face off with a series that was later produced. Given that I was an unknown quantity I was seriously honored to have gotten that far. I still have a lovely letter praising my talents from the studio. I wrote one very dreadful novel. To say it was horrid would require it to improve quite a bit. I've written a number of fairly decent short stories.
Right now I have a great idea for a fantasy novel, and actually have 14 chapters of it written, but I go for days, sometimes weeks and never touch it. Sometimes I write 5 or 6 pages as easily as sneezing, then spend a week agonizing over a single page. The writing in this is good. Over the years I've gained the ability to objectively evaluate my own work, and that of others. Well, some of the writing is good. And the ideas are original and allow me a range of themes and ideas and adventures. I have enough ideas backed up to continue writing unabated for the rest of my life.
The problem is that I'm not really pushing myself to work on it. I haven't mentioned that I rarely sleep more than 2-3 hours in a row. Rarely that much but I have been known to sleep that long. I'm tired all the time. I joke that it's ok because the world isn't really ready for me with a full head of steam. Sometimes I wonder if this exhaustion isn't why I cannot seem to find the energy to write. So it remains up in the air as to whether or not I'll ever see this dream come true. However, in a way it's my oldest and most enduring dream. It's the first thing I remember ever wanting to do, and the desire is just as strong as I write this as it was when I was in my teens or even earlier.
I've no way of telling if I have had fewer or more dreams than an average person. I suspect have had far fewer. Dreaming hurts. So I leave you with my favorite aphorism: Expect nothing. That way you're not suprised when that is what you get.
The dream I achieved was to get a college education. I wanted that from my earliest days in junior high school. But even then I knew that the possiblity was out of reach. And so it proved to be for a while. I went into the work force as a secretary, got married, and had a couple of kids. Every year or so I'd get my hands on some college catalogues and would spend a couple of days happily planning all the wonderful classes I would take. After my ex retired from the Army he decided to go to college. He got his AA and then we decided to move to Pullman, WA for him to pursue a degree in Anthropology. A dream of his.
It wasn't a good year. We were scheduled to move in January and that December my father died. But we still moved. The following December my mother died. In between though I learned I could go to college using grants and loans because we didn't have much in the way of money. Just his retirement and his GI bill. Despite all of the trouble with family and the ultimate breakup of my marriage I successfully completed a degree in Journalism and a masters in Educational statistics over six years. I loved school. I'm proud to this day of having done this and it's meant a lot to my life. I wouldn't have ever been as successful as I became without my education.
My dead dream is to know what love feels like. Yeah, I persuaded myself I was in love with my ex, but when push came to shove, I found myself incapable of absorbing the amount of abuse he wished to dish out, and I walked. That's not love. After our breakup (we were married for 17 years) I was convinced that with all I had suffered, I would find a wonderful man, marry again, and live happily ever after. Yeah I know...I was stupid. Happily ever after only happens in fairy tales.
I almost killed myself wanting this so badly. It colored everything I ever did, thought, or wanted. I literally reached the point where my despair was so painful and so deep I contemplated suicide. Were it not for my children, I probably would have done it. I couldn't figure out what was so wrong with me. My friends cared about me too much too tell me, and I couldn't figure it out by myself. I saw women with much less to offer than I did with others. Finally I was faced with the most difficult decision of my life. I could ruthlessly and finally stamp out hope of finding love in my life once and for all, or I could wallow in abject misery for the rest of my days. I chose to get rid of the hope. That's not as easy as it might sound. Hope in an insidious little bugger. It hides in the damnest places and sneaks out at the damnest times.
I am proud to say I've been hope free for nearly ten years now. Am I happy? Well, no. But I'm not wallowing in freakish misery as I used to be either. I live in a sort of emotional numb spot. I rarely get angry, I even more rarely feel really sad and cry. It's a nice even sort of emotional place to be. It allows me to work and do other things, engage in hobbies, and to live my life rather than indulging in useless and painful introversion trying to find and fix whatever it is that make me nonexistent to members of the opposite sex. I've freely chosen this place, so I can't say as I have any room to complain.
My unfulfilled dream is to be a real writer. Well, I am a writer, sort of. I'm a technical writer. A damned good one at that. But my dream isn't technical writing, though it pays the bills and then some. My dream is to write books. I've written two screenplays and actually had someone want to buy one of them. That's another story for another day. I once was asked to develop an idea for a television series, and I got all the way to a face off with a series that was later produced. Given that I was an unknown quantity I was seriously honored to have gotten that far. I still have a lovely letter praising my talents from the studio. I wrote one very dreadful novel. To say it was horrid would require it to improve quite a bit. I've written a number of fairly decent short stories.
Right now I have a great idea for a fantasy novel, and actually have 14 chapters of it written, but I go for days, sometimes weeks and never touch it. Sometimes I write 5 or 6 pages as easily as sneezing, then spend a week agonizing over a single page. The writing in this is good. Over the years I've gained the ability to objectively evaluate my own work, and that of others. Well, some of the writing is good. And the ideas are original and allow me a range of themes and ideas and adventures. I have enough ideas backed up to continue writing unabated for the rest of my life.
The problem is that I'm not really pushing myself to work on it. I haven't mentioned that I rarely sleep more than 2-3 hours in a row. Rarely that much but I have been known to sleep that long. I'm tired all the time. I joke that it's ok because the world isn't really ready for me with a full head of steam. Sometimes I wonder if this exhaustion isn't why I cannot seem to find the energy to write. So it remains up in the air as to whether or not I'll ever see this dream come true. However, in a way it's my oldest and most enduring dream. It's the first thing I remember ever wanting to do, and the desire is just as strong as I write this as it was when I was in my teens or even earlier.
I've no way of telling if I have had fewer or more dreams than an average person. I suspect have had far fewer. Dreaming hurts. So I leave you with my favorite aphorism: Expect nothing. That way you're not suprised when that is what you get.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Lots of Things
A lot of time has passed since my last post here. Most of it hasn't been fun or happy.
The end of December my current job assignment came to an end. I wasn't fired or anything, the contract was simply completed. There isn't a much worse time to be out of work than at the end of the year because nobody hires then and it takes a month or more at the beginning of the new year for them to gear up. I'm still out of work despite having had a few interviews. Now to be fair, I wan't a perfect fit for any of those jobs, though I could have done an adequate job of them. I have quite a number of outstanding submittals (from agencies mostly) to really good jobs. I have another interview on Saturday and the possibility of two more being scheduled before the end of the week.
I was getting worried about having enough money to live on should my unemployment run out (which it will in about six weeks), so I bit the bullet and accellerated my payoff schedule on the few bills I have left. I'm now debt free other than for day to day things. That makes me feel a bit better.
Things at home are going from bad to worse. My daughter continues to drink entirely too much. She's so caught up in being angry and lashing out at her soon-to-be ex-husband that she has no time to really live. I bought her a really good book on anger management; she says she will read it, but thus far has not even opened the cover. I think it could help her a lot. He and I worked really hard coming up with the money to get her into a really good alcohol inpatient program that she was interested in and now refuses to even consider. Did I mention she's now a lesbian as well? *sigh* I must admit I am having problems coping with her continual anger, and have more or less decided to just stay in my room and keep my mouth shut. Did I mention I live with her and her soon-to-be ex?
I don't sleep well at the best of times, and now I'm so tense I'm almost immobilized. I'm not doing most of the many things I should be doing. I do the job-related stuff, but have let the rest of it slide, including my writing. I'll post more on that and other topics of a personal note another day. I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm bored to death. No social life of any sort. I leave the house only to go to the bank or the grocery store. My entire social interaction consists of online friends now. The problem is that I need to break this trend before it becomes a habit.
So much for today's bitch session. I decided to restart this blog just so I have somewhere I can be open, honest, and not be afraid of setting someone's bad temper off or hurting someone's feelings.
The end of December my current job assignment came to an end. I wasn't fired or anything, the contract was simply completed. There isn't a much worse time to be out of work than at the end of the year because nobody hires then and it takes a month or more at the beginning of the new year for them to gear up. I'm still out of work despite having had a few interviews. Now to be fair, I wan't a perfect fit for any of those jobs, though I could have done an adequate job of them. I have quite a number of outstanding submittals (from agencies mostly) to really good jobs. I have another interview on Saturday and the possibility of two more being scheduled before the end of the week.
I was getting worried about having enough money to live on should my unemployment run out (which it will in about six weeks), so I bit the bullet and accellerated my payoff schedule on the few bills I have left. I'm now debt free other than for day to day things. That makes me feel a bit better.
Things at home are going from bad to worse. My daughter continues to drink entirely too much. She's so caught up in being angry and lashing out at her soon-to-be ex-husband that she has no time to really live. I bought her a really good book on anger management; she says she will read it, but thus far has not even opened the cover. I think it could help her a lot. He and I worked really hard coming up with the money to get her into a really good alcohol inpatient program that she was interested in and now refuses to even consider. Did I mention she's now a lesbian as well? *sigh* I must admit I am having problems coping with her continual anger, and have more or less decided to just stay in my room and keep my mouth shut. Did I mention I live with her and her soon-to-be ex?
I don't sleep well at the best of times, and now I'm so tense I'm almost immobilized. I'm not doing most of the many things I should be doing. I do the job-related stuff, but have let the rest of it slide, including my writing. I'll post more on that and other topics of a personal note another day. I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm bored to death. No social life of any sort. I leave the house only to go to the bank or the grocery store. My entire social interaction consists of online friends now. The problem is that I need to break this trend before it becomes a habit.
So much for today's bitch session. I decided to restart this blog just so I have somewhere I can be open, honest, and not be afraid of setting someone's bad temper off or hurting someone's feelings.
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