Hurt Feelings

My feelings are a bit hurt today. It has to do with my computer. About a month or so ago I mentioned I wanted to upgrade my memory. My daughter said she would check the memory to see what kind I did the upcoming weekend. She never did. I've mentioned her promise to her several times over the past month. She always says she'll do it, she never did, so I just stopped asking. Please understand it's not that I was unable to do it myself, but rather that I hate messing around inside computers, and she does it for a living.

What hurts is that she's always ready and available to help anyone else with their computer at a moment's notice. She will spend hours, and sometimes even a whole day working on her Dad's computer, her ex-husband's new girlfriend's computer, or those of total strangers she runs into in bars. She does it almost immediately and without hesitation. I have to ask and ask then she doesn't do it anyway. It makes me feel as if everyone else counts and I don't, I guess.

Of course there is an easy way around this, and it is the path I will take. I'll either do the work myself or I will pay to have it done in the future.

Yesterday I took the case off the computer and removed the memory stick. I decided that since I had no way of telling what I needed to know to get another one, I put the stick in a static sleeve and took it to the computer store with me. I got the new memory and came home. Then the fun began. I absolutely couldn't get the new memory into the computer. I struggled, scratched my hands up, broke nails, but no joy. Friends online gave me advice. I told Susan about it and she said she'd get it in when she got home.

She came home. No help. She ate dinner. No help afterward. Then she decided she had to go somewhere with her friend who needed help, while she saw me here struggling again to get the memory upgrade into the computer. I felt a bit like crying. She has time for everyone in the world but not five minutes for me. Yeah, I know, I'm feeling sorry for myself. But it does hurt.

Finally, when I was on the verge of simply giving up and returning the memory to the store the following morning, it clicked into place. I had done it by myself.

What leaves a bad taste in my mouth still is that I learned this morning that not only had I asked her, but her girlfriend has said something as had her ex-husband. They told her she should take a couple of minutes to help me out since I had wasted the better part of a day trying to do a job she could do in five minutes. There has to be a reason why she absolutely refuses to help me with anything. I just don't know what it is. It's not as if we have a bad relationship or anything. I just don't understand why. And yeah, being neglected and ignored doesn't feel good.