Well, the verdict is in.

It's not my gallbladder as they suspected/hoped. It's cancer. At least that's what they figure it is right now and frankly they're not all that wrong all that often. So I am facing a long tough fight here, and one that I am not guaranteed to win. I'm not giving up on this.

People are being really supportive. If prayer actually works then I will be completely free shortly. *grin* Still, it is nice of people to care that much. My family is in shock. My daughter is the worst thus far. She's just not coping at all.

I talked to my sister, who is also a mess. She is coming out to stay with us next week. At first I argued that she really doesn't need to do that. We don't even have the full diagnosis yet, much less a treatment plan. Then I realized she needs to do this. For her. My ex has offered to pay my entire funeral expenses should it come to that. He made the offer to my daughter. That's a lot of money, but oh well. I am hoping not to have to take him up on it any time soon.

The odd thing about all of this is that I'm not really scared or upset. Obviously I would much prefer not to have to face it, but we don't get to choose what challenges life throws at us. As I told a friend, I've never been afraid of dying. We all do it at one time or another.

So for now, I'm sort of in a holding pattern. I need to know a lot more before we begin moving ahead toward whatever is out there.