I've been wondering this past week if I am being a bit thin-skinned. A couple of weeks ago my daughter's friend was given an assignment at work. She was supposed to update a report that was originally written by one of their regional managers. She had no idea about how that could be done and my daughter volunteered to help her out.
Personally I thought she should have told her manager the truth; she doesn't have a clue as to where to even start and probably couldn't do an adequate job. This girl is a bit light in the loafers in the intelligence department to begin with. I don't mean she's exactly stupid, but she has no interest in this kind of heavy thinking and analysis. However, she was not willing to do that. She figured my daughter could update the report, then she'd take the credit for it at work.
Well, my daughter started and figured out that she can't do it either. Given enough time she probably could have done something that would be at least adequate, but while she's very bright she's not a writer. So guess who volunteered to help out? I've been doing this type of research and writing for well over 20 years. It wasn't exactly rocket science despite me not having access to the expensive statistics the original writer had.
The report took me about four days to research, think about, then write, edit and assemble. At my current billable rate, that would have cost the company quite a bit had they hired me to do it. It's an acceptable analysis but nothing exceptional in keeping with the idea that this woman is going to present it as her own work.
Now we come to the gist of this story. Even though I kept the vocabulary and even the depth of the report on a level with what she might be expected to produce, it still turned out a lot better than anything she could have managed. Some of the things I discovered and wrote about will be useful for the managers who are using it for planning for the upcoming year. The problem is this young lady doesn't understand much of what I wrote. She was supposed to sit down with me and ask questions so that she understood well enough not to look stupid if her manager questioned her. She never did. She turns the report in later today (I'm having another sleepless night which is why I'm writing this at 2:00 in the morning).
So to my question: am I being a bit thin-skinned because I am miffed that this girl has never spoken directly to me about this project? She's never asked a question, commented on the quality of the report, or....the big one....so much as said thank you. I don't expect her to act as if I'm some wonderful person etc. for helping her out of a tight corner, but is an email saying "thanks for the report" too much to expect for four days work? She was here picking up some of her things last night and never even bothered to say a word to me though we were in the same room several times.
When I get paid for my work, I still generally get some comment on the quality of the work I do and often get thanks. Is it too much to expect a simple thank you when someone bails your ass out of a tight situation? Again, I am not talking anything effusive. Just two words to acknowledge that I bothered to take the time and effort (which I will not do again as a result of this).
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4 comments:
Take a minute to think about this. First off - consider the source.
She takes advantage of everyone she meets. When she had custody of her son, she would park him for as long as she could get away with it, with anyone and everyone she met, pushing off her "mommy" role onto everyone else.
When her son became inconvenient to her sex life, she gave up custody.
She has been "living" at your daughter's house for months, but not contribuiting a dime, nor even having the courtesy to say when she would or wouldn't be home.
And then when she did come home, brought her verbally abusive boyfriend who made cruel and hurtful comments to your daughter.
You let yourself be taken advantage of by her - you offered to help her - and being the "Gimme, Gimme, It's All About Me" person that she is - she leaped at it. Next time, just let her fall on her ass.
Well, there won't be any next time. My daughter will never offer to help her again after this, and I certainly will not do it either. Remember too that she may still fall on her ass over this. She doesn't understand half of that report and is turning it in today. She didn't bother to try to learn enough to answer questions so if her boss questions her and the truth comes out, she's going to be in a shipload of trouble at work.
It's possible she won't have the guts to try to claim this report as her own work, but will say I "helped" her. This won't fly because again she doesn't understand the fine points of much of the analysis and the basis of some of the projections.
It's been my experience that these things tend to come home to roost in the end because it's hard to find people who will help you when you so consistently burn your bridges.
Why in the world did you even do that in the first place? At your age you should know better.
I did it because it was actually easy and was sort of fun. It's a form of brain exercise. I know it sounds really weird, but I enjoy research and report writing, especially when the results will actually be used for something.
On the other hand, I would not at this point help this particular young woman in any way again. She's been to the house repeatedly of late and has yet to say a single word either in person or in email about that report.
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