Interesting Last 24 Hours

The past 24 hours has been very interesting as in "May you live in interesting times." It started last night when my daughter decided to take her two dogs with her when she went with a friend to run a few errands. She came home about an hour later in hysterics, stopping just long enough to drop off one of the dogs.

Seems the other one. The male, was on his way to the vet after having jumped out of a moving car that was going about 30 mph and into traffic. Fortunately he didn't get hit by any of the cars behind them. He's a mess, but is extremely fortunate. He has no broken bones, no pulled tendons, and doesn't have a concussion. What he does have is some really nasty road rash and (though we cannot see any) bruises everywhere according to the vet. He's on antibiotics and pain pills for a few days.

Today I took care of him. He's barely able to walk he's limping so badly. He's sleeping a lot. Fortunately we have a wheelchair ramp at the front of the house so he can get down to do his business without using the stairs, which are clearly beyond him at the moment.

The second interesting thing was that last week I was listening to a talk radio show where I live. The host was talking politics and it reminded me of a piece I wrote here giving advice to the Democrats. So I sent a copy of it off to his show and promptly forgot about it.

Today I got a call from his producer, praising the piece not only for its contents but also for the quality of the writing. They wanted me to come on the show for a segment. This was quite cool. First he read what I had written, then he asked me quite a few questions. After that they opened up the phone lines. The entire segment lasted about an hour. I was nervous at first, but quickly relaxed and did ok. It was nice. I guess that's my 15 minutes of fame.

I told him that the DNC had ignored my message other than to begin innundating me with requests for money. He asked if they ever did respond that I share it with him, which I said I would do. He noted, however, that both of us will probably be chipping icicles in hell before that happens.

The Drums of War

In the back of my mind these days I hear the drums of war beginning to take up the beat once again. The administration is already building a case for going into Iran, either with what they call "surgical strikes" or with a full scale invasion.

I think somehow our illustrious leader imagines that we can go in and bomb one or two sites as the Israelis did in Libya and that will eliminate the Iranian nuclear program. From what I have read, we know of about two dozen nuclear sites of one sort or another in Iran. That undoubtedly means there are at least another dozen or so we don't have a clue about. The bottom line there is that we cannot actually get it all in one fell swoop.

In addition, the administration seems to believe that if they were to do this, that Iran would just roll over and play dead. That's not likely to happen with convenient targets (namely U.S. military) just over the open border in Iraq. The Iranian leader is a nutcase who believes we are coming up on the end of the world and that he wants to speed that up. This is the guy who considers it perfectly logical and sane to write dialogue on post it notes and toss them down a well and imagine that he is conversing with a long dead holy man. This is the guy we're depending on to act logically and sanely if we attack him.

There is every indication that much of what we're being fed by the administration currently is a crock, much along the lines of the WMD stockpiles and nuclear programs in Iraq before the war. The nuclear regulatory agency says that the Iranian program is years further behind than the US is claiming. So far on such matters, they haven't been wrong and we haven't been right even a single time. Much of what is being written these days also dwells on the fact that the Iranian people are not nearly as disaffected as the expatriate community would have us believe. That is the same as we discovered to our chagrin in Iraq as well.

With the midterms coming up and a presidential election only two years away, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if Bush picks another war just to see Republicans remain in power. I mean, they cannot point to anything they've done in the form of legislation that would make people want to keep them. So maybe embroiling us in yet another war would somehow do the trick. *sigh*

Family Wedding

I attended my youngest sister's wedding yesterday. Well, she's also my niece, but that's another story for another day. It was a nice wedding and was a day I am positive she felt would never actually come. She is 41 years old and has never been married. She's been in two extremely long-term relationships and has a 14 year old daughter from one of them. But she's never been married.

Yesterday two of her brothers marched her down the aisle, and my sister (her birth mother) gave her away. The ceremony itself was short and simple. Her new husband interrupted the ceremony several times to proclaim at the top of his voice that she was his best friend and how much he loved her. It was very touching. He also got down on his knees to put the ring on her finger. They were both horribly nervous and shaking by the time it was over and they were finally married.

Lisa looked pretty in her wedding dress. Her daughter was one of the bridesmaids. She looked happier than I ever remember seeing her. I made her promise me she's wait until I was at least ten miles away from the area before she threw the bouquet. One cannot be too careful.

The reception was nice, but I left fairly early. Large crowds and lots of noise get on my nerves. It was great to see my nephews and their wives and children there. However, the dogs were here alone outside, and with my catarracts I don't see as well at night as I used to, so I wanted to avoid driving after dark as much as I could. It was a long drive.

Susan stayed down there, but she and Tammy (as usual when they drink) got into a fight, so Tammy came back up here about 2:30 in the morning. I'm tired, having been awakened in the middle of the night. Given that I was here with the dogs alone, I didn't really get much sleep before then either, with them barking every time someone farted in this half of the county. Obviously, once awake I didn't get much sleep afterward either. Two nights of bad sleep now. Tonight will be three as Susan and Tammy are sure to get drunk and get into another screaming match.

Hurt Feelings

My feelings are a bit hurt today. It has to do with my computer. About a month or so ago I mentioned I wanted to upgrade my memory. My daughter said she would check the memory to see what kind I did the upcoming weekend. She never did. I've mentioned her promise to her several times over the past month. She always says she'll do it, she never did, so I just stopped asking. Please understand it's not that I was unable to do it myself, but rather that I hate messing around inside computers, and she does it for a living.

What hurts is that she's always ready and available to help anyone else with their computer at a moment's notice. She will spend hours, and sometimes even a whole day working on her Dad's computer, her ex-husband's new girlfriend's computer, or those of total strangers she runs into in bars. She does it almost immediately and without hesitation. I have to ask and ask then she doesn't do it anyway. It makes me feel as if everyone else counts and I don't, I guess.

Of course there is an easy way around this, and it is the path I will take. I'll either do the work myself or I will pay to have it done in the future.

Yesterday I took the case off the computer and removed the memory stick. I decided that since I had no way of telling what I needed to know to get another one, I put the stick in a static sleeve and took it to the computer store with me. I got the new memory and came home. Then the fun began. I absolutely couldn't get the new memory into the computer. I struggled, scratched my hands up, broke nails, but no joy. Friends online gave me advice. I told Susan about it and she said she'd get it in when she got home.

She came home. No help. She ate dinner. No help afterward. Then she decided she had to go somewhere with her friend who needed help, while she saw me here struggling again to get the memory upgrade into the computer. I felt a bit like crying. She has time for everyone in the world but not five minutes for me. Yeah, I know, I'm feeling sorry for myself. But it does hurt.

Finally, when I was on the verge of simply giving up and returning the memory to the store the following morning, it clicked into place. I had done it by myself.

What leaves a bad taste in my mouth still is that I learned this morning that not only had I asked her, but her girlfriend has said something as had her ex-husband. They told her she should take a couple of minutes to help me out since I had wasted the better part of a day trying to do a job she could do in five minutes. There has to be a reason why she absolutely refuses to help me with anything. I just don't know what it is. It's not as if we have a bad relationship or anything. I just don't understand why. And yeah, being neglected and ignored doesn't feel good.

The Upcoming Midterms

I'm becoming much more interested in the upcoming midterms as the days pass. There appears to be a growing anti-incumbent sentiment based on the fact that the incumbents seem to be doing nothing but arguing, backbiting, etc. The American public wants to see work being done on critical domestic issues, and it's not being done.

This isn't a slam on either party individually, but on the entire political climate in this country collectively. Politicians in general have utterly lost sight of the fact they were elected to represent their constituents and to work on solving the nation's problems. They are not there to pander to special interests and big business, load budgets with pork, and take potshots at the opposing party.

My hope (and that's all it is at this point) is that the voters will go to the polls so utterly ticked off that they will toss out incumbents of both parties in record numbers. This would send a loud and clear message to those remaining to get off their dead butts and start doing the country's business or face the same fate themselves. I am totally sick and tired of do-nothing senators and representatives. I'm tired of the name calling and finger pointing.

Bush is the very worst of this bunch in that regard, but he's also gone in two years no matter what, so it doesn't matter. He talks a good game but actually does nothing but talk about it. He never provides the strong, decisive leadership necessary to make real significant changes.

Both sides need to pick issues important to them and then work with their opposite numbers to pass legislation and set the path toward solution of the issues. The issue itself is relatively unimportant as long as it's not just a lip-service issue such as flag burning, gay marriage, or one of the other non-issues that makes it appear to some people that congress is trying to "do something." I am talking real issues: Medicare, Social Security, Immigration, border security, reforming the tax code....something of this magnitude. And they must commit to not only talking about it but doing it. It might also be nice to fund the effort properly and put in safeguards so they're not just throwing money at the issue. Might also be nice to identify where cuts will be made to find the money.

In the end, I am really hoping the voters get off their hands and vote in record numbers and that a huge number of incumbents on both sides of the aisle are tossed out on their collective butts, thus sending a loud and clear message in the most forceful way possible that we expect this bunch of self-indulgent, pandering, self-important bunch of wastrels to start actually earning their pay.

I Must Be Nuts

I honestly think I'm taking leave of my senses these days. I am actually looking forward to getting a puppy in December sometime. I am apparently going to have to go to other organizations, since the Golden Retriever club in my area has proven pretty cavelier and has not answered my request for information on breeders, etc.

I am not sure why the idea of a puppy appeals to me. Sure, I love puppies as much as the next person, but I am also aware that puppies have this really nasty habit of growing into dogs. And I am not all that particularly enchanted with dogs.

I guess perhaps because I am growing older, and spend so much of my time alone these days, maybe I am beginning to feel the need for some sort of companionship. I know I'm almost painfully lonely, and that is not going to change any time soon. That's as much a personal choice as it is circumstances, given my life and my experiences. I'm very severely pain adverse, and any human relationship is sure to bring even more pain than I have already suffered. I guess I am not prepared to deal with that.

I have been making lists and checking costs of dog ownership. Insurance for their health for instance. How utterly ironic that I cannot get affordable health insurance for myself before Medicare, but I can for a dog. I have researched toys, ways of aclimatizing Brisco, beds, cage training, and the ultimate obedience training at 12 weeks. I have a mental vision of the type of dog that I find acceptable, and obedient is the most important. I do not want to inflict a disaster such as Brisco on the world. I firmly believe that a trained and obedient dog that knows his/her place is a much happier dog as well.

So December creeps up on us and sometime during that month I will become the owner of a dog. I wonder if I'm prepared?

Ineresting Day

I found out today that my daughter plans to get me a golden retriever puppy for my birthday/christmas present (they're one week apart). One of her dogs will go with her husband when their divorce is final and that will leave one dog in the house. She really wants another dog, but also wants to do without the responsibility so she will give me the puppy I would enjoy and I get to see that it is trained, feed it, brush it, etc. Heck, I'm here all the time anyway so why not.

I am reading up on puppy training and all of that right now. We will go through formal obedience classes as soon as the dog is old enough. I won't have an untrained pita dog. I'll have to learn to trim claws, etc. It might be interesting. I understand this breed is very intelligent, obedient, and mild tempered. I intend to get a female since I like to scratch their tummies and you can't do that with a male.

Yesterday I found out that Susan can sign. Not universal sign but rather finger spelling. She said hello to a new neighbor's child and he signed at her. She spelled out that she could only do alphabet and asked his name. He was really thrilled. I was amazed watching her. She's really fast at it and the kid understood her right off. I think she may take a course in universal signing. I've always wanted to learn that. Don't know why but I have.

Susan has split up with her girlfriend again. This is the fifth or sixth time. It will be interesting to see how long it lasts this time. And then Susan's wallet disappeared. She thinks the girlfriend took it, but I don't. Susan was so roaring drunk that she could have dropped or put it virtually anywhere. I won't be a bit surprised if it just turns up in a laundry basket or something.

I swear I live in such interesting times. The Chinese curse sort of interesting times.

Words

I have noticed that people tend to stuff people into conveniently labeled little boxes, and become uncomfortable when someone doesn't fit or refuses to be categorized. For instance, I personally disapprove of George Bush's handling of the war, the economy, the budget, domestic issues and virtually everything else. When I say this, I am accused of "hating" Bush. When did we get to the point of equating political differences with hatred?

This has nothing to do with party lines. Many of my political views are also shared by mainstream Republicans. Many are shared by mainstream Democrats. I pride myself on being a person who decides issues based on facts not on what a particular party line dictates. I believe in a balanced budget and zero based budgeting, smaller government, cutting waste, etc. Those are largely Republican stands. I also believe in universal access to affordable health care, giving people a hand up when they fall on hard times, and in some regulation and/or oversight of big business since many in big business have proven themselves incapable of honesty without it. These are largely Democratic stands.

Yet people keep trying so very hard to push me into one of these stupid little boxes that says Republican or Democrat (I am neither), conservative or liberal (again, I am neither or both depending on the issue). Why is it we cannot accept that there are people who actually think for themselves? I approach each issue as a separate one and decide my stand when I view pros and cos, look at what others write, and then ultimately think about it and decide.

Even more alarming to the box police is the idea that you can actually change your mind and your views on a subject when the situation changes, more evidence is presented, or times change. In other words, some of us refuse to be locked into a position for life when the environment surrounding that position changes or we get more information. I consider it block-headed to cling to an outdated idea because you don't want to be seen as changing your mind. Why wouldn't you change it if new proof shows your old position was based on insufficient information and was, therefore, inaccurate? What is so wrong with saying, I learned more about it, so I changed my position based on the newer, more accurate information?

I see this as a part of the the general political hostility and incivility that reins today. People are so divided and so polarized that they cannot even hear what "the other side" says, much less accept that they are accurate. Recently I had a friend, who disapproves of nearly everything Bush does, but who also identifies himself as a Republican become insensed because I stated I didn't agree with things Bush is doing. Now mind you he doesn't approve of those same things either, but he actually said it was disrespecting the office of the presidency to disagree with what the president does/says. Since when?

Monday Evening Ramblings

This has been a pretty busy day considering that I got nothing of consequence done. I did get the house fairly clean, the laundry done, the garbage out, and the dogs fed. But I didn't write or do much reading. I didn't work on my new beading stuff. I should.

I have this feeling that I am sitting here spinning my wheels while life passes me by. I'm getting a bit more disciplined and am getting a few small things done, but I want to do more. Like find a time to write every day that I cannot sluff off. I would like to do some serious reading.

I was reading the CNN webpage today and I saw that things are a bit better in Iraq because things are more under control in Baghdad. I guess an extra 15,000 or so troops has put a crimp in the terrorists. Attack-related deaths are down by nearly 50%. Of course last month was the bloodiest in terms of civilian deaths of the war.

I see that guy who confessed to the Ramsey killing was lying. What would make someone confess to the rape and murder of a child, I wonder? He's still not out of the woods as they are going to prosecute him in California for child pornography. So he's a sick puppy by anyone's estimation other than his own.

The weather here is about to change toward autumn they say. We have one more pretty warm day on tap. After that they say it will get cooler and cloudy. That's ok. Maybe we'll get some rain and it will save me having to go out and water the garden every day. Every grey cloud has a silver lining with the right attitude.

It's getting late and I admit I'm tired. I didn't get nearly as good a night's sleep last night as I might have wished. That's two in a row and no naps either. Tonight promises to be a bit better as it's cooled off considerably already. I think I'll see what I can do with writing in the morning while I'm having coffee. The game will be down and I can concentrate on getting that done. Maybe early morning with fresh coffee is my particular writing time.

An Interesting Viewpoint

I was watching Fox News this morning and they had Juan Williams on. He was talking about Bill Cosby's controversial comments regarding black youngsters and the black community in general. He sided with Cosby against the likes of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Jackson and Sharpton's political futures rest firmly on maintaining the oppressed victim mentality in the black community.
What Cosby said essentially was that it's time for people to get off their dead butts and to stop blaming exterior conditions for their own bad choices. For instance, it may be a fact that a particular school with a predominantly black student body is a bad school. It is equally true that people either choose to go to school regularly and learn, study, do their homework and really try to make the best of what they have, or they don't. Those who choose not to learn are responsible for those choices.

Cosby pointed out (and Williams agrees) that this victim mentality and really stupid attitudes among black youth are ruining any chances blacks have to continue moving into the middle class and out of poverty. It's not "cool" to be smart and work, for instance. But it is "cool" to hang out on a street corner, insult women, sell and/or take drugs, and belong to gangs. Stealing is cool. Holding down a job isn't. Gang violence is cool. Respecting the law isn't.

Such attituded and the breakdown of what used to be a strong black community in the US has really taken its toll on blacks in general, but it's not whites they need to blame for their problems. Whites don't make black men father out of wedlock children then abandon both the child and the mother. Whites don't make blacks commit crimes, drop out of school, or not even look for work. Again that's a factor of attitude within people themselves.

I'm not even trying to argue that many poor blacks don't have it bad. Of course they do; their chances for getting out are smaller because they have less to work with in terms of education, job skills, the results of their own poor choices, etc. in the first place. But they can get out. More and more blacks join the ranks of the middle class every year, or at least they did until this current administration.

I am encouraged when I hear people like Williams and Cosby stand up and tell it like it is, thus attempting to thwart the attempts of so-called black leaders to foster a permanent sense of victimization, hopelessness, and entitlement in the black community. Sharpton, Jackson, and their ilk are not doing blacks a favor by encouraging blacks to feel as if there is no way out and that they are owed a living.

I strongly believe that good solid job training programs should be available to everyone who needs them, free of charge. I support mentoring and tutoring programs, including SAT tutoring classes for kids in poor schools. I even believe that college admissions standards should contain exceptions for kids strong high academic backgrounds who had to work or tend family rather than do the usually expected extracurricular activities. I do not believe the academic standards should budge a shred based on race.

In the end the black community will fight to reestablish itself as a real, effective community. I see signs of that already and am encouraged. In the end though I would much rather hear news about black academic and workplace advancement than about the number of unwed births or the numbers of young men who choose to waste their lives in prison.

The weekend

Well, the weekend is approaching. I'll be alone here at the house with the dogs as usual. That's really not a problem. I am just not sure what I want to do. There are tons of things I "should" do, but not much I want to do.

My sleep is improving slightly. I am getting to sleep a bit faster, and getting back to sleep when I wake up faster. I think, though I have no way of quantifying it, that I am waking up at night a bit less. Sill six to eight times, but that's an improvement. The biggest improvement is that for the past three nights I have been able to go back to bed in the morning and sleep an extra two hours or so. This is major. I feel much better during the day and have a lot more energy.

Perhaps this weekend I'll try to get my habit of writing back. I know what I want to write. I have just finished a book about writing....the gist of it was to write. I know that sounds obvious, but what it means is write even if the stuff you're writing is bad and will have to be dumped at a later date. Just get the story down on paper so that it's real and out there. Writers tend to want their stuff to be excellent the first time out so they write and rewrite, or worse block up, rather than pushing through even if it's crap so that it gets done. Once done, then you can go back and polish, rewrite, dump the garbage, and refine the good stuff.

Anyway there is a warm weekend coming. I wish I didn't consider it a waste of time to go out by myself and do things. But a meal alone always leaves me thinking about how much better I could do and that it would have cost less too. I don't want to go shopping and there are no movies I want to see. It's almost 10:00 here, so I suppose I'll just sleep on it and decide in the morning. I think I shall make biscuits for breakfast for a change.

Social Security

I am now officially retired. I had intended to wait until my 65th birthday because of the difference in benefits, but today the Social Security office called and explained that the monthly difference will be under $30/mos if I retire now and if I wait until the end of December. The amount is insignificant considering my waiting for five additional months, so I made the decision to go for it now. Everything is settled and I'm officially retired. I get my first check next month.

It will still be the first of December before I get Medicare coverage, but I have picked a good program that will allow me to have a lot of coverage. It's not cheap, but I have checked out half a dozen or more programs and this is the best coverage for the money I can get here. I sign up for the supplemental insurance in November and am fully covered in December.

I am not sure how I really feel about this. It feels sort of sad in a way that I simply cannot find work. I am still working at trying to write and putting together a book proposal (non-fiction). I'll try to find other things. I still want to do a grant proposal for an idea I have, but cannot go through the Gates foundation as I intended as they don't take individual requests. Maybe I can go through the Everett Senior Center. It will be something I can investigate.

So as of today I'm officially old. *sigh*

Advice to Democrats

If I believed for a moment that the DNC would listen to me, I would offer them the following advice:

It’s November 2006 and Democrats have just won back control of both the House and Senate. Victory is sweet. You’ve worked hard and you’ve won. Once that initial blush of victory begins to fade you will face the greatest opportunity of this generation to either secure the Democratic position for a long time to come, or to blow it entirely. It’s up to you, and there are no re-dos. My bet, unfortunately, is that you are going to blow it, given you past record. So I’m offering the following ten suggestions to help you make this victory a march toward the Presidency in two years.

Please understand that I am nobody. I’m not a political pundit. I’m not a party worker. I’m an outsider who follows politics closely and who is smart enough to see where Democrats and Republicans screw up. None of these suggestions cost anything to do other than the expenditure of common sense, something you and the Republicans should have an abundance of considering how little it’s used these days.

1. Each person who will speak to the press on behalf of the Democratic party will repeat ten times before breakfast each morning: “I work for the welfare of the American people and the Republicans are not the enemy.” This will mean muzzling such people as Howard Dean until he learns some moderation.

What we the people absolutely do not want is a continuation of the partisan bickering that has been going on for so many years. This is the single most important rule you must learn. If you follow this one, you will get support from the American people on a level you will be shocked to see. We’re sick of the fighting.

2. Choose one or at most two major domestic issues on which to work. I would suggest Immigration/Border Security as number one as it ranks high among we the voters. The second place I would go would be a move toward fiscal responsibility. The war is a separate issue. I’ll get to that in a few minutes. Announce very publicly what these issues are and why they were chosen as a focus. Now comes the hard part; also announce that you are going to work with Republicans to come up with bills that work for both sides.

Make a public deal about how Democrats are the party of inclusion and that includes not shutting out Republicans from the decision making process as they also represent the American people. This is can be a very good public relations coup. Most important, do it. I don’t mean compromising where none is possible, but rather including as many good suggestions from Republicans as you possibly can. Remember the President’s position here with amnesty, etc. is extremely unpopular with voters. Play to that. Don’t attack the illegals except at the border. Dry up the sources of jobs until a viable guest worker program can be expanded to include them and let them self-deport. Start by enforcing the laws we already have, etc. Make this all as bipartisan as you can and make sure you stress how hard you are trying to work with Republicans.

Announce that the Democratic party is going to cut the pork out of the Federal budget then do it very publicly. Make sure that all parties involved know that they can put these bills up as stand-alones, they just cannot hide them in appropriation and other bills any more. Call upon Republicans to stand with you to make this happen.

3. This one is hard because it goes against every political instinct you have: do not get caught up in the expected endless round of political finger pointing and hearings, etc. Squelch any calls for impeachment. Your approach should be that Democrats are here to end this vicious cycle that has caused such congressional gridlock and that has Americans at one another’s throats politically. This doesn’t mean that if a scandal emerges you don’t investigate. It does mean you don’t go digging trying to make Republicans look bad. They look bad already. Let them stew. Just don’t push it. If you make them look persecuted they become the underdog. Everyone always pulls for the underdog. Let them continue to be the Party for the rich and for big business. They’ll sink their own ship. They don’t need your help.
4. Make a list of all the things that Republicans did to Democrats that really irritated, then publicly announce the list and state that unlike Republicans, Democrats don’t act that way and include them. Some cannot be expected to cooperate, but there are sufficient moderate Republicans who are dying for an opportunity to make some progress on national issues, give it to them. Make sure the press knows of this new direction.
5. Make a list of long-term, pressing national issues and announce that you are working on finding bipartisan solutions to them. Then do it. Not endless hearings and panels, but honest work toward incremental solutions. This includes the Medicare drug benefit, fixing Social Security, the problems with the infrastructure, resizing government, and whatever else your experts tell you resonates with the public. The key is to shift the focus off of endless foreign involvements and bring it back to the U.S. so that there is something every week or so to report on that concerns domestic issues. The American people want work on domestic issues.
6. Stop attacking Bush. I know that’s a big one, but he makes himself look bad enough without your help. Definitely point out where things that are his responsibility go wrong, such as poor choices for offices, failed or disastrous decisions, etc. but for the most part stick to the positive about what you are doing and accomplishing. There are sufficient scandals out there involving Bush and the Republicans that have yet to surface. It doesn’t require your help and it makes you look bad.
7. Refuse to accept Bush’s designation of the Democratic party as the party of “cut and run.” This is designed to appeal to the darkest fears of the American public regarding terrorism. This war is going bad enough for Bush to look bad without harping about it. That being said, however, you need a definite and united approach to the war.

The one place where you have the most opportunity to score legitimate points is to take the “strategy” that is currently posted on the White House webpage and demand specifics. It’s long on generalities, and devoid of parameters upon which progress toward the goals can be measured. “We will stand down as Iraq stands up” is a political slogan not a strategy without measurable parameters for progress. It’s sort of like “Mission Accomplished.”

Even better would be if you had a specific plan yourselves, but given that we’re there and are not just going to withdraw any time soon, you’re on thin ice there. Second guessing the military commanders is a bad idea as well. You need some military experts with political sense to give you a sound direction for this one.

Quietly and without fanfare begin investigating war profiteering and the no-bid contracts for Iraq handed out by the Bush administration. You should go public with this only if something significant and provable can be produced.

8. Begin a serious, bipartisan effort to revise the U.S. tax code. Include the public so you can hear their concerns and wishes. You might even wish to invite written ideas from them. Perhaps publish a website to keep people informed about what you are discussing. Let people know from the beginning this isn’t going to be a political rush job to score points for the next election or win a spot on the evening news, but a legitimate bipartisan attempt to fix a badly broken system.
9. This one is going to be hard, but except for critical spending such as the war, or already allocated programs, require that new legislation identify where the funding is going to come from. What will be cut to make the new program possible? Never lose sight of the idea that Democrats are first and foremost for fiscal responsibility, a balanced budget, and reduction of the debt.
10. Finally, stop thinking and acting like underdogs, and stop letting the opposition define you. One of the biggest hurdles the Democratic party faces at this juncture is the urge to let the extreme left wing of the party take over and dictate policy. This will fail as much as has the Republican strategy of pandering to the extreme conservatives and religious right. The further you get from the center, the closer you get to your opposition’s extremes. Negotiation, moderation, and cooperation are not dirty words. In this instance, they could possibly save your party and set you up for taking the presidency in 2008.

Believe it or not, we average citizens out here are not as dumb as most politicians think we are. I think that is going to become apparent at the ballot box this November. It’s up to you how much further it goes beyond that. Remember, we out here are ripe for leaders who will put an end to the partisan bickering and nastiness. And the party who figures that out first is going to score big with us. We want progress, not obstruction. We want domestic concerns addressed. The average American is sick to death of watching Iraqis given services and assistance by our government that we as citizens cannot hope to ever have.

I wish you the best of luck. Given your previous track record, you’re going to need it.

Partisan Politics

With a couple of Democratic upsets in the primaries and poll numbers showing a groundswell of voter dissatisfaction with the current administration's policies and with their handling of the war, the Democratic party stands at a crossroads. It's entirely possible they will take back one or both houses of congress in November. This will present them with an historical opportunity which I am convinced that they will choose to blow.

When the new congressional session opens in January, the Democrats have two paths before them. The first one leads to a clear-cut domestic and diplomatic program, a plan to end and either win or get out of the war in Iraq, and a mountain of problems that need to be solved to begin moving the country forward. Peripherally there will also be the need to undo some of the worst offenses committed by the Repubicans.

The second path will be the politics of get even, investigations, hearings, proposed impeachment, and finger pointing. This is the path I believe they will choose as it's an easy path and doesn't require any committment or any real work. I hope it is not the one they decide to take.

Even if they don't have the votes to pass the bills that are needed, they need to put them up anyway. Choose a few very important issues and concentrate on those. It took years for things to get into this abysmal mess. It will take years to get out as well. Start by picking a popular issue such as border security/illegal immigration. This has a great deal of bipartisan support so it will be possible to reach across the aisle to Republicans and start building bridges and coalitions that can only result in good for the American people.

If the Democrats can remember that the other party is not the enemy and that they are all there for the betterment of the American people and this country, rather than to line their own pockets, ensure their next reelection, or pander to special interests, then they can start making progress. One party or the other will eventually have to suck it up and stop this ever downward spiral of animosity and hatred. It can be the Democrats if they have any brains.

I don't mean that the Republicans will cooperate, but a few might. The more Democrats can fight the impulse to get even and concentrate on getting things done, the better it will be for them and for us. The question remains whether they have the brains to do it or the will. The river of hate and acrimony runs deep and wide. Someone has to bridge this chasm. The one who does will win the undying gratitude of the voters.

Oh, as an aside, and as a starting point, I would suggest that the party spring for muzzles and put them on Howard Dean, Jessie Jackson, and Al Sharpton when it comes to speaking officially for the party on anything. All three of these men are a damned embarassment.

Sleep

Well, I am trying a new program I am currently reading about that holds some promise to at least improve my ability to go to bed and sleep. It's been well over 20 years since I have actually gone to bed and slept entirely through the night. They call it chronic insomnia, but have no cure.

While in the bookstore the other day I found a book by a doctor at the Harvard Medical School who specializes in treating chronic insomnia through behavior modification as opposed to the use of drugs. Given that drugs stop working after a few weeks anyway this sounds promising. It's a 6-week program. He claims that 70 percent of his patients begin sleeping normally by the end of the program. The other 30 percent show significant improvement. I could live with significant improvement.

I am on the base week now. This is when all you do is record your sleep information. Right now under the question about "how many times do you wake up at night" I am putting "too many to count" because I lose track after the first six times or so. On a bad night I am probably waking up every 45 minutes or so.

When I get to the first official week next week, I will begin working on my negative thinking regarding sleep. After that apparently it gets harder. For a couple of weeks I will actually spend less time in bed because of this. Fortunately I am not working at present so staying up later is going to be easier than it would otherwise. The one saving grace of this is that he encourages short naps midday. Short means like 45 minutes, which is about the length of time I sleep when I take a nap anyway. I think that I will have to actually lie down in my bed rather than doze off in my chair as I do now.

I don't know if this program will work, but I have nothing whatever to lose by trying it and a great deal to gain by following the program as closely as I possibly can. I'll begin doing things like drinking my morning coffee on the back deck in the sun. That won't be all that hard actually *grin* The sunshine has something to do with circadian rhythms or some such. We'll see. I refuse to get my hopes up too high, but I also won't be pessimistic about it. I'll do what has to be done and will see the program completely through to the end.

Sigh

I'm getting more bored as time passes. Coupled with tired and you have all but immobile. Nothing whatever on the job front either, which is encouraging.

Part of the problem is that I'm so damned lonely it hurts. I don't have any friends any more who live within visiting distance. I don't go anywhere or do anything other than stay home, read, write, and do a few chores here and there. The highlight of my day today, for instance, was going to the store and buying fertilizer for my garden.

I would love to have someone to talk to, share ideas with, and maybe go to a movie or out to dinner with from time to time. I'm not talking romance here, just another human being's voice for a few hours once a week or so. Susan is too busy with her girlfriend and her drinking and stuff. And I do try hard to stay out of the way.

Things would be so much easier if I even had a penpal. Something to look forward to each day. As it is, the first thing I think of when I wake up is how many hours until bedtime. Days are to be gotten through not enjoyed for me any more. I've looked for penpal sites, but the only one that seemed half promising turned out to be populated with cretins.

Anyway, once I get retired in Dec. and have health insurance, I'll go in and see if they can do anything whatever to help me sleep. Perhaps sleeping even one or two nights a week would give me more energy and more enthusiasm. I have zip of either at the moment and it's really depressing.

Stressed Out

Currently I am so stressed out I am surprised I am even functional.

The biggest stress factor is that I am now convinced that my working days are over. Financially this isn't all that big a deal as I can make it pretty easily through the five to six months between when my unemployment runs out and my Medicare kicks in. Emotionally is another story. I feel as if I have been kicked in the gut and I don't know what to do with myself. I feel useless. All of this over my inability to find five to six months of work.

I am trying all sorts of things and it's really discouraging to me that I cannot find a simple writing job to hold me through my retirement date of December 31. I have been pretty creative. I've voluteered to write for people in the hope that something paying will come up at a later date. I've contacted some really non-traditional possible sources of work. I'm trying to freelance.
In the end, however, I know I have reached the end of my useful life and it's hitting me harder than I ever anticipated it would. I'm having severe headaches. My jaws ache as I am constantly clenching my teeth in frustration. I'm all but immobilized. I keep telling myself I should enroll in a Tai Chi class or something, but it just doesn't cut it. I will start walking a bit in the morning. Since even walking is very difficult for me with my weight but more with my bad knees and bad back, I am hoping it will just exhaust me and I can then sleep away part of the day.

I'm working on my book outline. I'm down to actually outlining the chapters now. I will be able to start writing in a week or two at the most which will help me a little. I'm working on finishing my will. I'm trying hard to get the information about what I do/do not have paid on my funeral so I can start paying for the rest, but the cemetery people are not cooperating even after three emails in three weeks.

Susan isn't helping any at all. She has taken up smoking at the age of 40. Lung cancer runs in our family as well as other types and she is being stupid and is now smoking as well as being a drunk with no intentions of stopping that either. Did I mention she decided she's a lesbian a few months ago? *sigh* I can't really say anything at all about this to her as she absolutely doesn't listen to me any more, but the stress of internalizing and repressing it all is making my life a living hell.

All in all, my life is nothing but pressure. I don't have a single release valve. It is just building up inside. I've not mentioned it to anyone, and so far I'm managing. Since I can't let things blow, I have to figure out a way to cope. I wish I had a clue as to what that is.

Dreams of Magic

I woke up this morning with the remnants of the strangest dream lingering in my mind. It took the form of a conversation between me and a guy I couldn't see. In the dream he was telling me to consider something....all through history people have believed in real, honest to god, magic. There isn't a society or a faith that hasn't believed.

The guy was postulating that the belief exists because magic truly exists, but that it is surpressed because it's not a good thing for a lot of people to know about. He said that true ability is rare, but when it appears during puberty that someone quells it. A person is only deemed "suitable" to possess the skill if their inate talent is great enough to break the block that is placed on them.

This got me to thinking. There were lots of sketch details in the dream. Nothing really solid. But it's a fascinating idea. A secret world of magic (kind of like Harry Potter, but less benign and smaller) that has always existed coincident to ours. Magic controlled but not totally contained. Perhaps run by one or more secret organizations, but to what end? What secret would they be guarding? What would they be hiding? Why, if they had always existed, would they hide in the first place? What if there were several such organizations on the different continents? What would be the political rammifications? What would be their aim? How powerful would the oldest among them be? Would they fight among themselves? Maybe try to steal one anothers' sleeping possibilities?

As you can see, the idea has me fascinated. That's one reason I'm writing about it here. So I don't forget.

Who is in charge these days?

I was in the grocery store today. Ahead of me were a couple of women talking as they shopped. They were obviously either family or close friends. One woman was picking up assorted junk food as she went along. They had with them a little girl who was perhaps four.

The one, obviously the mother, pointed to the junk food and shrugged, while commenting to the other woman that it was all the little girl would eat. That she wouldn't eat healthy food.

I was stunned. Who exactly is the mother and who is the child in this relationship? It's the mother's duty to ensure that the child eats a heathy diet, and the child has absolutely nothing whatever to say about it. When did we move from adults as parents to kids as boss?

When I was raising my two, they had two choices at meal time. Take it or leave it. If they chose to leave it then they obviously were not sufficiently hungry in the first place. There were no snacks between meals if you had not eaten the original meal. At the next meal you were given the same two choices. No child is going to go hungry for long. They quickly learn when the adult they are facing off against cannot be manipulated.

In our house junk of any sort was a treat for weekends, and not every weekend. There was always plenty of healthy stuff if you got hungry. Sodas were special treats for very special occasions. As a result, my kids grew up having tried almost anything under the sun. Some they liked and some they didn't. I always made sure that if I was offering a new food, there was also plenty of other things for them to eat if, after they tried the new one, they decided they didn't like it.

As adults my kids love salads, vegetables, and trying new recipes. They literally eat almost anything. They are adventurous and if they've never tried something they don't say "ewwwww, I don't like that," they consent to take a bite and see if they like it or not.

Looking back on those women and the little girl in the store, I can see where the problem with kids getting fat and existing on poor diets originates. It originates with parents who are either too ignorant or too weak to actually be parents, and who find it easier to give into a kid's whining than to keep the child's best interest at heart and insist that they eat a healthy balanced diet with junk as a treat. And they will pay for it in the future as the child gets more and more out of control of themselves and more and more in control of the home. It's sad. No wonder kids seem to act so stupid in many cases. There's nobody at the helm to steer them in the right direction.

Depression

Depression is something about which I rarely speak, but with which I live on a daily basis. I think I am writing about it today because I am exhausted to the point of being almost non-functional, and have had two glasses of wine. The combination is interesting. Last night I was awakened at 1:00 and was unable to get back to sleep, so I'm running on about 2-3 hours sleep tops, and that not contiguous.

I've been depressed for the bulk of my life. I can only remember brief times when I was not. The past few years it's become deeper and more pervasive. I've been "treated" for it. What a joke. The drugs work for a few months then stop working and the depression returns. The "therapy" involves me doing all the talking and the therapist sitting there saying "I see. And how do you feel about that?" If I knew how and why I felt as I do, maybe I wouldn't be depressed.

I have managed to cope and to build a successful career. However, I'm a hollow person. I have no friends nearby and few personal relationships those with family only. The irony is that at this time I cannot imagine having the energy to cope with real interpersonal relationships of any sort. Emotionally I'm sort of comfortably numb the majority of the time. This last is intentional.

A number of years ago I discovered that hope was the huge killer or potential killer. If you hope you have expectations, and when those are crushed over and over, eventually you begin to realize that being dead is the only way out. I didn't want to take that route, so I systematically set out to stamp out all shreds of hope in my life. It was a horrendous struggle and one I doubt I would have the energy to do today. But it worked. In the end I found that I exist in this rather comfortable state of numbness. I don't really have any emotions left. I tend to cope with each day as it presents itself and heave a sigh of relief when it is over. I expect nothing and am not surprised when that is what I get.

I have no energy. I've been chronically sleep-deprived for going on 30 years now. I haven't slept thorough a night in all that time. I have sleep apnea, but that is controlled with a CPAP machine. The doctors say there is no physical reason I should not sleep at night but I rarely sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Then I wake up. Roll around a bit. Then go back to sleep for another short time. I honestly cannot even begin to remember what it feels like to be actually rested.

The major drawback to all of this is that I have to struggle so hard to accomplish anything. It's such an effort. My thoughts are often scattered and it's hard to concentrate, even on things I want to do or used to enjoy. Used to enjoy is the key word as I don't actually enjoy anything any more. My permanent state of mind seems to be bored off my ass.

I would like to say that I hope to see things change one day, but hope is not a luxury I allow myself at any time. Hope hurts. I would like to say that one day I expect to be better, but I don't expect that's true. Drugs only work for a very short time. Therapy costs money and I have no insurance. Perhaps when I retire in a year or so, I will be able to use my Medicare benefits to get some help. If there is help for any condition that has gone on this long and is this severe. Perhaps it's best in the long run if I accept that things are as they are. It's not as if I'm suffering now. I'm frustrated at times at being unable to accomplish anything constructive, but I'm not actively unhappy. I'm still comfortably numb. Life hurts. I guess I shouldn't complain.